He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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