you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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