What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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