please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize