You can't special order awesome
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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