dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
