oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
