Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
