She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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