i would punch a child for taco bell
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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