On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
