he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
