grandma shit on top of the toilet
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We are all done wearing pants today
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I would fuck him just for his dog
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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