Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
