just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
