What did we do last night that was yellow?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You may now shotgun with the bride
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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