he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
