Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
