the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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