So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
