I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize