I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
