I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
