I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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