I'm so fucking centered right now
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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