Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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