gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
