Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize