Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
