Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
