Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
