Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
