His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
