I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize