The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize