Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
