somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
me + whiskey = a bad person
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
