you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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