There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
