My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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