i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
