please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
