I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
