How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
