I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wish life had little blips of pornography
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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