so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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