If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
