I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
