found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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