They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
