i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
