he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
