I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
