Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
