my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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