Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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