Sponge bath it is.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
