She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
