he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
