what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
