so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
