If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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