mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
