i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
